Think of the last time you sat in a meeting and didn’t say what you were thinking. Most of us have done it.
In a 2003 study, Frances Milliken and her colleagues interviewed 40 people in full-time jobs. 34 of them, 85%, said that at least once they’d felt unable to raise an issue with their boss, even though they thought it was important. The reason given most often was worry about being seen or labelled negatively, and damaging relationships they valued.
So keeping quiet is often a judgement call. People weigh up what speaking might cost them, and they base it on what they’ve seen happen to others.
That’s why the moment after someone speaks up matters so much. Amy Edmondson’s research describes psychological safety as a belief, shared across a team, that it’s safe to take interpersonal risks. Shared beliefs come from what people watch. If the first person to raise a problem gets a sigh or a defensive answer, the rest of the room learns the rule quickly.
If you lead a team, try one thing this week. When someone brings you a problem or disagrees with you, thank them and ask what they’re seeing: “Thanks for raising it, what are you seeing?” Then encourage them to say more. Stay curious, and give them the space and time to think and speak before you offer a view of your own.
It’s a small habit. Over a few weeks it changes what people expect will happen when they speak, and that expectation is what decides whether they do.
Next week is Anti-Bullying Week, with the theme Break the Silence. Adults stay silent at work too, and leaders have a lot of say over how easy it is to speak.